Today I found out that a job I was competing for with only one other applicant was given to the other applicant because I have 'too much experience'. It would have been perfect for me - two months of fulltime work would have brought me to the date of my visa decision, and provided for me (rent and food). Unfortunately, someone out there who is less qualified than I am now has guaranteed work and pay for that amount of time. And I have no idea how to make myself look less experienced/qualified. Or why I should want to, considering all the training and experience I do have.
At this time, close to the halfway point, I am looking through my posts - and they all seem to be about unhappiness or illness. Perhaps this is just not the place for me. Of course, it is possible that I'm a generally unhappy person - but it seems like I have been more so in the last year than ever before in my life. Frustration isn't the only problem, it seems - and I haven't gotten as much accomplished as I was hoping for. I am currently considering applying for PhDs and jobs elsewhere, in other countries and areas that might be more suitable. At first, I was willing to believe my attitude had a lot to do with my awful experiences here before - because I was really homesick and heartsick - but no, it turns out that this is really what the country is like, or at least this part of it. It makes me even sadder because it's harder to want to specialize in the history of a country that you know is so unkind. I really, really want things to be great here - that's why I've kept trying - but sometimes, the problem *really isn't* you.
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