I am madly in love with the Big Island of Hawai'i. I have lived there twice, had my heart broken there, and wanted to settle there. Unfortunately, circumstances meant that I had to leave - and go to Scotland. I felt that I would never find another place I loved.
Seoul, South Korea, is a place I love very much. Not in the same way I love Hawai'i, for its nature and its amazing heritage. Seoul is a city of the future, brilliant and convenient, providing anything and everything you could possibly want - and even things you had never even thought of. Seoul is always a surprise and an adventure, and living here is very easy.
However, as much as I love the city, I do not like my job, to the point that I handed in my resignation and will be returning to Scotland, which I now call home. And although Scotland was never what I'd call 'good to me', it still provided me with the most lovely assortment of friends, companions, and in particular, dedicated young men, I have ever known. I have a future there, if I choose that path. My family has a past there, as well. I still feel connected to the land, even when we are so far apart. Not in love, as I was with Hawai'i, or at ease, as I am with Seoul - Scotland, as prickled as a thistle, my hard-won homeland. To paraphrase Robert Louis Stevenson, and I return home with a will.
I don't know what will happen in the future, if I will ever fall in love with Scotland, as I'd hoped, or if it will always be the hardscrabble existence that I thought I'd left behind when I moved to this Asian version of Glasgow, with infinitely kinder people. However, I hope that whatever happens, I will persevere.
The spell has been broken. My heartbreak seems to have almost entirely healed. Three years and counting. Still, the wound has scarred now, and only occasionally gives me cause for complaint. It has been a long and strange path to this point.
I hope one day, looking back, I will feel that I made the right choices, and can reconcile that which I love - Hawai'i - that which I fight for - Scotland - and that which has shown me the true kindness of people and the possibility that life doesn't have to be so hard - Seoul...and that I will continue to discover new and amazing places throughout my journey through life, like the separate facets of a precious gemstone, each with their own radiance and brilliance - and each, with their lesson to teach me.
