:(

Well, here I am, a few months into this experiment and doing less. I'm in a very unpleasant work environment, making next to nothing, barely surviving. The play is a few weeks out and still don't have all the necessary money to put it together. The cast and crew are great but I am concerned that it won't work out. I am banking everything currently on getting large audiences for each performance. Then I should be fine again.

I'm uncertain about my relationship, I'm unhappy in my job, and I don't seem to have any new friends. I don't know how other people get jobs that pay well. I did what I was supposed to do - I went to university, got degrees to postgraduate level, and I'm still living far below the poverty line.

I sometimes feel like I am the opposite of King Midas - there's nothing I touch that doesn't end up working out badly. I also dislike complaining and complainers, but I felt that things have gotten so rough again that I needed to mention it, if only to remember this.

I'm considering applying to posts in other countries, as it seems like all I have experienced in this one is a lot of behind-the-back whispers and unbelievable behaviour from people who should be old enough to know better.

I'm somewhat homesick again, but far less so now that I know what 'home' is at present, rather than the place in my memory.

I'm sure there is some way to get into these jobs - I've known many people in them, although not in my own friend circle. No amount of rewriting my CV or sending cover letters seems to help; I hear nothing or only receive polite letters of rejection. Everyone says it's the economy but it isn't just that...I feel like there is a secret handshake that for some reason, I have never been taught, and I'm on the lookout for someone who can teach it to me.

Very Unhappy

Right.

So my security job apparently only paid me £15 for 9 hours of work; upon arguing with one of the bosses, he told me to 'get my facts straight so I don't make a phone call and make a fool out of myself'. Interesting.

Also, my other job pays very little, treats all of us like dirt, and refuses to give out more hours when other staff quit to take on other, better jobs (as at least 2 people have now done in the handful of weeks I've worked there).

Now living in abject poverty, I wonder what I am going to do next. I am beyond frustrated.

On the other hand, the play is going well. :(

Too Much Going On

OK! I have finally returned to my blog! I swear I didn't forget! Well, maybe a little.

In the last few weeks, we have:

Become increasingly busy with, and disorganized because of, our Dr Horrible play. It is an expensive and time-consuming thing to do, a play - and the easiest part is corralling people for rehearsal, which is also difficult to do. I am directing, which also means I'm the one up til midnight sewing puppets, liasing with the poster designer, creating the website, buying costumes, and yelling at Paypal because every one of their representatives has a different story and one persisted in calling me 'ma'am' just about every 5 seconds. Sigh.

Due to the massive expense of this play, I've taken on another job. I am now working security at football matches, including Celtic and Rangers. This job is an exercise in patience, confusion, and Scottish modern culture. The amount of hatred and violence seen at the football games here defies belief (and such awful cheerleading that I think I am going to start a cheer school - although I've never been a cheerleader, I do know how to teach dance, and that would be a great help locally).

Endless work, much of which has been intensely frustrating, plus I have to teach dance tonight...but have been so busy that I haven't even had a chance to hang up my poster adverts much of anywhere.

I'm telling you all - after this I really need one of those cruises. I've never worked so hard, and had so little in the bank.

On the other hand, I've found out for certain that I've graduated, so that's a huge relief! I'll have my ceremony at the end of this month - the same date the play opens, incidentally.

I'll try to update more often...I know, promises promises.